The Incident

I had finally decided to live the life of a seeker, seeking Christ and His beauty(Psalm 27:4)! God had me, I'm taken, He has ravished my heart. Things were only improving at the time, money was getting better and I was saving more of it. Got a brand new car, great apartment, great church, great family, growth was the word for the season. One night we had a youth get together at my brother's house, so I just spent the night with him, when I got home the next morning there was a business card on my door. When I first looked at it, it looked fake. It said Secret Service and the name on the front was scratched out along with the number and a new one was written on the back.
My mind was reeling, was this some sort of joke? So as I got ready for work I called the number on the back just to see what it was all about. Several things were flowing through my mind as I dialed the number, this could be about my oldest brother, who had been in a lot of trouble through out the years, perhaps it was one of those joke message services like "the rejection hot line" that would tell me that I wasn't cool enough to talk to. Then it began to ring...then another ring, it felt like hours were passing in between each ring and finally an answer. "Hello" the man said, "This is Agent Sean." So I explained who I was and that I had received a card with his name on the back of it. He said, "Yes, I left it there" wow he really was wanting to talk to me! He asked if we could meet up in the next hour and I told him that I was headed to work, but we could meet afterward. So we meet on the deck of the restaurant I was working at at the time and there it was, my past all in a nice little binder.
Flash backs of all the craziness and the parties and people, the horrible things I'd done. He had informed me that a friend of mine had been arrested along with my old roommate, both for wire fraud and they both pointed to me. The one said I was the mastermind behind a multi-million dollar operation. I was floored, I had put all this behind me and besides, they were involved much more than I was anyways. He asked for a statement, so I told him all that I could remember and they came over and searched my house and car. When they did that, they were convinced that I was no criminal mastermind! I asked what is going to happen to me, he told me that was up to the people in Miami since that is where I was living at the time of "the incident." I thanked him for coming out to my house, who thanks the Secret Service for searching their house? Me, that's who! Then they left and left me at my house, they didn't arrest me?!? I was totally confused!
I was a mess, what did this mean for me? People close to me told me that if they had really wanted me they would have taken me. So a little time passed, a week or two and nothing, then some more time and finally about eight months had passed. I was thinking everyone is right, if they had wanted me they would have already taken me. Besides I was no "major criminal" or anything like that, I made a mistake, who hasn't?
Just when all was normal, or as close to normal as could be, I got the call. It was a Friday afternoon, Agent Sean called to tell me that a FEDERAL WARRANT had been issued for my arrest and to stay in for the weekend and I could come to his office Monday and turn myself in... How was God going to save me from this one?

RAZOR'S EDGE

I recently got a book called, RAZOR'S EDGE by Bob Armstrong. Bob is an amazing man with a heart after God, he has served the Lord in many different capacities in many different countries. I had the wonderful pleasure of having a rather close relationship with Mr. Armstrong for a year... Unfortunately we had to meet at the Federal Prison Camp in Estill, SC.
When I received his book, I wasn't quite sure what to expect, Bob is a very brilliant man and most unpredictable! It didn't take long for me to see that this was about his experience in prison. The further I got into the book, the more I realized just how different our experiences were. For example, I was in prison because I had done illegal things with people's information. He on the other hand was in a business with a dishonest man and sadly enough both had to pay the price for the work of one man.
I want to open the door a little bit more into what life is like behind the barbed wire. My journey really began in Miami in January of 2006. I was a total cocaine addict and would snort basically anything that was powder. I was up to an eight ball a day (3 1/2 grams). I was also a raging alcoholic, I did the drugs not only to have a good time, but also to stay coherent enough to work and just live. I was a mess, an expensive mess.
One day a guy who I worked with invited me out for a drink after work. He asked me if I wanted to make some extra money and of coarse I said, "YES!" He let me in on his "little secret" to making extra cash. All I had to do was collect and share people's information. In fact I didn't even need to know the information, just collect and transport. Easy right? I was thinking, Man! This will pay for all the drugs I want, every night is going to be fabulous!
That lasted about 3 months and I had had enough. I was so overtaken by guilt, I just couldn't stand myself any longer. I was also out of control, I hated myself and my life. I remember being in the bathroom at work smoking crystal meth and I looked into the mirror and remembered the 16 year old kid who wanted to be a minister. Where had he gone? Who was I? Where was God?
I moved back home to Fernandina, Florida in April of 2006. My life was in total shambles. Praise God that my brother, James and my sister-in-law Jessica took me in and put up with me. I soon found a job and things were getting better. I had started to come back to church a little and I was beginning to play around with the idea of God being real and out there somewhere. In about 3 months I was to a point where I was able to move out on my own again.
I was doing "good" for a while, I was clean, sober and even managed to quite smoking. It just wasn't lasting, without Christ! It reminds me of Matthew 12:43-45
43"When an evil[f] spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation."
This is the condition of trying on our own to fix the problem without Christ. I started smoking and then drinking and finally drugs all over. I was still attending church, often still drunk and high from the previous night. It was all a game, but little did I know that God was about to invade my life...with His love!